10 ways to support a woman through miscarriage.

Having had two miscarriages myself I know the pain associated with an early pregnancy loss. I also know how hard it is to try and support someone who is going through a miscarriage. Every woman grieves differently but this list will give you some basic ways you can show your love and support.

1) Send prayers and good thoughts!
Pray for them or think of them and tell them you're doing so! Just knowing that you're thinking of her will make the Mama feel loved and cared for.

2) Ask!
Every Mama grieves differently and some will want help while others may not. Ask her what she needs or what you can do. This includes laundry, meals, babysitting or even just someone to talk to.

3) Feel free to cry!
Don't hold back the tears. The loss of a child, no matter how small, is devastating and deserves to be mourned. If you're sad it's ok to cry, yes, even in front of the Mama.

4) Don't distance yourself!
Some Mama's need time and space to process but in the mean time connect with her to see how she's doing. Texting, calling, e-mailing, or dropping by are all great ways to let her know you're thinking of her. She will need the support, even if it's just in knowing you remember her loss.

5) Talk about Baby.
The Baby existed, regardless of its size or age, and she became a Mother the moment that Baby was created. She won't stop loving that Baby simply because it is no longer living. Pretending like the Baby didn't exist makes things harder for the Mama.

6) Offer Encouragement Wisely!
Be careful about saying things like, "at least you can try again" or "it's probably for the best". Death never feels "best". We know that some times Baby doesn't form correctly or maybe something would have happened down the line that's prevented by the miscarriage but it's still a loss that deserves to be respectfully mourned. If you want to support her you can offer encouragement but keep it positive!

7) Be Patient!
Some Mama's "move on" from the loss rather quickly while other's take a while longer. Whatever the case may be, remain patient with her as she's grieving. Unless you've experienced a miscarriage yourself you won't truly understand the pain. Even if you have lost a Baby the pain is felt differently by every woman.

8) Journal it!
Buy her a journal she can write in. She can write out thoughts, letters to her Baby, vent her frustrations and anger and work towards healing in writing.

9) Spoil her!
One of the best things someone did for me after my first miscarriage was gift me a spa package. It had bath beads, bubble bath, chocolates and tea. Miscarriages can be surprisingly painful physically and a bath really does help. The thought behind the basket was really more healing than the contents though. I've also been given an ornament that is a beautiful reminder of the Baby I was growing!

10) Love her!
Regardless of how you think she should be grieving or recovering from her loss you need to love and support her! Encourage her and pray with her. Cry with her and hold her. Be there for her no matter what your opinions are.

Like I said, every woman grieves differently and this list might not apply to every Mama. These are things I found helpful during my two miscarriages that I hope can help you support your friend or family member who is grieving. Also, don't forget about Dad. Ask if there's anything he needs too!!