Tomorrow is the BIG Day!

I cannot believe that tomorrow morning we will begin the induction process to bring this miracle child into our arms! I'm so anxious to meet her and hold her, to smell her and snuggle her, to nurse her and share her with our older children. I have butterflies!

I'm anxious about the pain of labor, especially one induced with pitocin. I'm anxious about the increased chance of a c-section with the use of pitocin. I'm not looking forward to the recovery weeks after delivery either.

Thankfully, all of the anxieties are greatly overshadowed by the fact that I will soon be holding my last little lady in my arms! I'll get to see who she looks like, what her personality is, and finally tell her face-to-face how much I love her and how we longed for her to join and complete our family! I'm so excited for her to join us and make this family whole!

I can't wait for my older children to meet her! I wonder how they'll react to her. How they'll react to Mommy being gone for two days. How they'll react to little lady's noises, movements, sounds, and the fact that she'll be taking more of my attention. I can't wait for them to hold her and kiss her!!! I am excited to see how Shaelyn responds to the Baby she's always talking to and kissing in my womb!

I'm trusting the Lord for protection and health for this little lady and myself. I'm praying for an easy transition for my children and my Husband and myself. I'm believing this time will bring us closer together as a family and renew our zeal for the family the Lord has so graciously blessed us with! I honestly can't wait!!! Sleeping tonight is going to be a chore!

*I will post pictures and stat's as soon as possible! Thank you for your prayers!

To gift or not to gift...

With our induction date quickly approaching I've been thinking about Sibling gifts from Baby. I know plenty of people who give gifts to the older siblings from their new baby and I know plenty of people who don't give gifts. We never have. When my first became a big brother he was only 15 months old and I didn't think he would even understand a gift from his brother, much less need one.

When my second became a big brother he was only 12 months old and again, I didn't think he would even understand why he was getting the gift.

Now that my oldest is almost 4, my second is 2.5 and my third is 1.5, I'm wondering if a gift from their new baby sister would help ease the transition. On the flip side, I think of their sister as a gift and don't feel the need to give them extra gifts…

So, here I am, trying to figure out if we do give a gift what should we give, why would we give it and what will that show our children? I'm still on the fence about this one. I'm thinking I'll just carry on the tradition of not giving any gifts and just make it very exciting for them to be the Big Brother's and Big Sister. I hope they'll be just as smitten over their little sister as we will be. Hopefully offering her hugs and kisses will be enough of a present for them! I guess we'll see…

Your turn! Did you or did you not give older siblings gifts from their new baby sibling? WHY or why NOT?!?

The end is near!

On Tuesday I had my 38 week check up.  I've lost 1 pound, which isn't a lot but after gaining as much as I have with each pregnancy - it feels nice to not go up anymore! Baby sounded good and is still very active, to the point of causing pain!

Unfortunately, my blood pressure was up again this week.  My OB sent me to L&D for monitoring and to check labs to rule out pre-eclampsia. The labs came back normal but my blood pressure was around 148/102.....far too high.  So, for the health of myself and little lady we will be inducing labor on Monday.  I'm praying labor will start on its own before then.  If it doesn't I'm hopeful that simply breaking my water will cause active labor. 

At my last appointment I was dilated to 3 cm and about 50% effaced.  4 cm is considered active labor so we don't have far to go.  I would definitely appreciate any prayers for a fast, safe & healthy labor and delivery.  Especially for no hemorrhage. 

So now it's a waiting game! I'm so anxious to meet this little lady and see what she looks like and what her personality is! I'm insanely excited to breastfeed her and develop another bond with a precious gift from God!

*I wonder who she will look most like! Cobi is top left. Micah is top right. Shaelyn is bottom left.

38 Weeks!!!

Today we reach 38 weeks pregnant!!! I've had some questions regarding my Due Date so here's the LD on when this Baby might arrive: We lost Aubrey on Christmas Day, 2011 and did not have a period before becoming pregnant with this little lady - so our initial due date was calculated based on Christmas being the first day of my cycle. This put our due date at September 30th. If we go with 9/30 as our EDD we are 39 weeks 2 days. Our second EDD was based on the first ultrasound we had which showed us due October 11th - what a cool due date 10/11/12!!! We had another ultrasound two weeks later, due to bleeding, that showed a due date of October 4th - another cool due date "10/4 Good Buddy". Anyway....my OB somehow came up with an EDD of 10/08/12 so we are currently 38 weeks exactly today. I "feel" like she's going to be born on the 4th but I've never guessed correctly so we'll see.

Regarding the pregnancy, little lady seems to be doing well! She's quite active and growing like expected. Unfortunately, she's currently lying in the posterior, or "sunny side up" position. Posterior is not an ideal labor/delivery position and can cause a long and extraordinarily painful delivery. I has acupuncture done last week, hoping she would turn, but she's comfortable where she is. I just pray she comes as "easily" as her big Sister, who was also posterior.

I'm in a lot of pain from sciatica and SPD. Basically my pelvis always feels like it's raw and on fire. My back hurts mainly when I move and causes my legs to buckle due to shooting pains. I'm not sleeping well due to the pain and am very much looking forward to getting my body back!

With this being our last Baby I'm trying to relish every bit of this pregnancy. All this pain is just confirming how done we really are having more Babies! Our perfect little sib-set of two older brother's and two younger sisters! It's God's perfect plan for our family and I couldn't be more excited for what the future will bring!

So, literally any day now we could meet this little lady! My OB said he will break my water at 39 weeks, if I would like. I'm hoping I'll have the strength to continue on until she's born of her own timing. I'm just praying that timing is very near!

Hospital Vacation!

I think this is the first time I've ever looked forward to a hospital stay. I'm in so much pain and have zero patience left for anything and anybody. I'm literally drained and it takes every ounce of grace that God gives for me to get out of bed in the morning. I feel like my kids are testing every single limit and pushing every button they can, literally & figuratively. I feel guilty because I'm not the Wife or Mom I want to be right now. My house is a disaster, dishes are piled in the sink, laundry is overflowing the basket and I have vacuumed in too long. I'm done!

I need a vacation! While being stuck on an uncomfortable hospital bed, with an IV and nurses bugging me, doesn't really sound like a vacation - I'm really looking forward to no responsibilities aside from feeding, cuddling & loving on this little lady! I won't have to plan, prep & cook any meals for two whole days! I won't have to do dishes or laundry, vacuum or make beds. I won't have to clean up toys or hear any back-talk for TWO WHOLE DAYS!!!!!

To top it all off when I see my kids again, after Baby is born, I'll be full of loving hormones and will forget about how hard these last few weeks have been. I'll miss my kids and look forward to seeing them again. I'll have a new-found sense of love for my kids again and a renewed energy to be the best Mama I can be.

So yes, I am, very much looking forward to my hospital vacation! I plan to take full advantage of every service offered and just soak up newborn bliss! I'm hoping this vacation comes SOON!!!

Content in this pregnancy

Maybe I'm the only Mama who goes through a 4-5 week period, during pregnancy, that I just can't stand being pregnant. I'm not talking about the normal achey feeling - I'm talking about irrational thoughts of, "how can I get this Baby to be born…NOW". I seem to hit this point in each of my pregnancies and just cannot get out of the slump, no matter how hard I try. Thankfully I've finally passed that point and am now contentedly awaiting this little lady's arrival! Don't get me wrong, I'm still very uncomfortable and sore but finally have the mindset that Baby will come in God's perfect timing and when she's ready! As much as I am beyond excited to meet her, hold her, smell her and hear her little sounds, I am ok with waiting for her perfect delivery date! I'm trusting in God to bring her into this world when it's the best time!

I had my 37 week check up today and aside from some high blood pressure everything looks good! Baby is measuring big, which is typical of my kiddos, and is head down. Her heart rate was great. I've not dilated any further but it really doesn't matter. I know better than to let that get to me…thankfully! So we simply wait. We have our next appointment next Tuesday at 38 weeks.

My older kiddos are definitely ready for this Baby to come as well! Cobi keeps praying that God will bring Baby out!! I am anxious to see how they'll respond to her arrival. I guarantee that I'm going to sob like a Baby, pun intended, when I see my older children for the first time after this little lady is born. They're going to seem so huge and grown up. I'm sure it will be a whirlwind of emotions, especially considering this is our last Baby.

So as of right now we wait! We continue to pray for a safe and healthy delivery, Baby and Mama. We trust in God to work everything out for His glory and can't wait to praise Him for this perfect being in our arms!!!

37 Weeks! Full-Term!

Ooffdah! Today marks 37 weeks into this pregnancy! We're now full-term so Baby can come anytime she is ready! I'm beyond done being pregnant but seriously thankful for the blessing that is this child growing in my womb!

Every time I start to feel "woe is me" I simply remember those who are unable to have children. Lately I've been focusing on Psalm 127:3-5 Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

I am anxious to meet this little person, to see what she looks like, to smell her and hear her little baby sounds! I'm excited to see my older children respond to her and love on her. I'm excited to have my body back!

Sleep has really become a dreadful time. My SPD is flaring up and it's incredibly hard to get comfortable lying down. I just pray for the continued strength and endurance to finish this pregnancy!

Hopefully soon we will get to meet this little lady in person! Until then, I praise God for a healthy pregnancy and will trust in Him for the perfect timing of her birth!

37 weeks! The belly button has popped out - I'd say that means she's done! Don't mind the wood chips - I had just been sat on by a certain 19 month old, Shaelyn after she fell in the backyard!

36 weeks!

Today marks 36 weeks into this, our final, pregnancy! I'm thankful that the timing of her birth is not up to me! I'm feeling very physically DONE and am convinced pregnancy lasts about four weeks too long!! God knows what He's doing in creating this life so I'll trust in Him and wait patiently for this miracle to make her entrance!

This past weekend we were blessed with tickets to a Twin's Game! The boys, all three of them, had a great time! It was COLD, which I loved! We rode on the light rail to get to the stadium.

It was our second trip on the train and the kids did great again! It was standing room only on the way out to the stadium and Micah was truly in Heaven getting to stand, or rather fall, during the stops and starts!

Our seats were up rather high but it was still a great time!

The Boys ended up watching movies on our phones more than the actual game but they were really well behaved so it worked out great!

Tomorrow is the start of weekly OB visits which should help this final month go by a little more quickly! I've been having loads of prodromal labor, which is basically just lots of practice contractions - not braxton hicks but really painful contractions. I've had prodromal labor with every pregnancy so I know not to get too worked up about it but it is exciting to feel my body "doing" something. I'm praying this labor and delivery will be smooth and we'll both be healthy!!

35 weeks!

Today marks 35 weeks into this pregnancy! I'm so thankful that Baby girl has been moving like crazy again! I'm thrilled with each kick, jab and squirm to reassure us she's doing well! I'm definitely feeling the space crunch and really don't know how I'll stretch for another 5 weeks! I'm beyond exhausted and have been needing naps daily, which thankfully I've been able to get in! Keeping up on household chores is becoming more difficult but I'm convinced that's why God gave us the "nesting instinct" so things still get done! My blood pressure is beginning to rise so we're praying for a healthy ending to this pregnancy!

We had family photo's taken and while the kids weren't totally cooperative, the photographer did an excellent job getting some cute action shots! I really like how they turned out considering my kids just wanted to run around and play in the water fountain. All in all, it was a great evening! Here's a sneak peek!

This last one was taken by me just showing what they would rather be doing!

Nothing Nice to Say

During Jury Duty I was able to read, from cover-to-cover, a book written by Joyce Meyer, 'Living Beyond Your Feelings'. It was such a good read! I highly recommend you take the time to read it!

One of the main points I got from the book was that speaking your feelings only makes them seem worse. I've really been trying not to complain about the aches and pains of pregnancy. I don't have easy pregnancies, by any means, but I'm blessed to be pregnant. After losing two Babies and the recent scare with this Baby - I really am thankful for the aches and pains.

I'm putting out the call for accountability! I need to reign in my complaints and not focus so much on the down-sides of pregnancy, rather focus on the miracle that is forming inside my womb! I'm too blessed to be stressed and praise God for what I've been given.

Please call me out on any complaints you hear from here on out!

Miracles do happen!

As you know, I've been in Jury Duty for the last week. Basically it's just meant sitting in the basement of our county court house waiting for my name to be called. They never did call my name so I was able to read a complete book from start to finish!

Yesterday I was dismissed early from duty so I headed home for a nap while the kids were sleeping. When I woke up my hands and lips were numb/tingling. I was unsure of why I felt that way but didn't think much of it. I noticed I wasn't feeling Baby move much but just figured she was sleeping. About an hour later I still hadn't felt any movement and started getting concerned. I drank a glass of mountain dew and had a handful of m&m's, hoping the sugar and caffeine would help wake her up. Another hour passed and she still was not moving. No flutters, bumps, nothing. I was now really worried as I've never had a Baby with decreased movements.

I called into the on-call OB and awaited her instructions. Hoping I was overreacting I decided to eat dinner while I waited for her call back. Ate dinner, drank more water and laid down for a while. OB called and recommended I head into L&D. She agreed that it was better to be safe rather than sorry.

Upon arrival at L&D I was hooked up to the monitors for a Non-Stress Test. Basically it records the Baby's heart rate and any contractions. Unfortunately the Baby was not active and her heart rate was not fluctuating like they want to see. I was given some apple juice to drink, hoping it would wake her up. The juice didn't work. She wiggled once or twice but never really gave any good kicks. I was also having contractions that were causing her heart rate to drop a little lower than they like to see. A few more minutes passed and her heart rate then started to skyrocket into the 190's, which is too high.

Blood tests were run to rule out pre-eclampsia or HELLP syndrome and a urine analysis was done to rule out any bladder infections or spilling protein. All the tests came back normal. Baby was still not moving much…

The next step was an ultrasound to complete a Biophysical Profile. They rate the Baby on movements, practice breathing and fluid levels. She didn't do so well. Barely moving and didn't practice breathing at all. It was literally the most terrifying 30 minutes. The u/s Tech would push, quite hard, on my stomach, trying to get her to react and she would just lay there. I felt so helpless and scared for her life.

After the u/s we were sent back to our room to be monitored more and after another hour she did start moving a bit more so we were released and told to come into the clinic the next day for another NST.

So this morning we headed into the clinic for the repeat NST. Baby hadn't really been moving much through the night or early morning, which is very unusual for her. The first half of the NST she failed, not moving much at all and little fluctuations in her heart rate. I was again given some juice and she did finally perk up a little. My OB was ok with the second half of the NST but was worried that the first half hadn't met his expectations. So I was sent to the hospital for a repeat ultrasound.

This time I had eaten lunch and Baby passed with flying colors! We got to see her practice breathing and wiggling. It's such a miracle to see this little life forming! She was measured and weighs approximately 6 pounds at this point! We're 34 weeks 3 days and she's measuring 36 weeks! We know these are approximates but we're happy she seems to be growing well!

She's been moving well this afternoon! We're so thankful to everyone who prayed for her health and protection! Thankful to God for healing her and reviving her body and energy! So excited to meet her in a few short weeks!!!

No more Babies for us.

Four children under the age of four, living in two bedrooms, with one income is hard (and one of the four isn't even born yet)! I've been pregnant or nursing for the last five years straight! Pregnancy and breastfeeding are taxing on the human body. I'm exhausted and my body is not handling the added stress very well. My thyroid is not functioning as it should and now I'm on medicine to control my heart rate! Needless to say, having anymore children is probably not wise on our part.

Yes, we've prayed about whether or not we should have more kids. We both feel at peace that the answer is NO! We've got the perfect sib-set of two older boys and two younger girls. Our children are happy and healthy and all we could ask for! So why am I so concerned about it?

I was watching my kiddos play outside today when it hit me how grown up my Baby Girl is getting. She's running around with her Brother's, speaking so many words/sentences, and just overall acting like a Big Girl!

I was comforted in the fact that I'll get to go through the Baby stage again with this little lady. But then I was struck by the realization that when this Baby grows up we're not having anymore babies. No more nursing, no more swaddling, no more total dependance. While I am looking forward to no more diapers, middle-of-the-night-feedings, and sleep deprivation - I will miss the smells, sounds and feelings that only newborn babies bring.

I'm so thankful for my Children and am so blessed to be their Mama! I just have to trust God to continue to grant me peace with the decision to have no more babies after this little lady! I plan to relish in every single second of newborn bliss with this Baby and continue to soak up every moment with these children as they grow and change before my very eyes!

32 Week Update

Shaelyn LOVES giving her baby kisses!

We're in our 32nd week of pregnancy now! Feeling HUGE already, which is no good considering we have roughly 8 weeks left to grow! I HATE sleeping on my side - I've always been a back or stomach sleeper and really have a hard time getting comfortable on my left side. Baby Girl is always kicking and moving around when I lay down which adds to the difficulty falling asleep. Heartburn is still kicking my butt. However, my weight gain has slowed down, thank GOD!

I'm getting more and more anxious about the hospital delivery. Our last birth was perfect in the fact that we didn't have to fight anybody about our labor, delivery or postpartum wishes. I'm not looking forward to having to strong-arm any nurses or doctors who try to do something we don't want. I'm just praying everyone involved in our care is understanding and that we can discharge ASAP! This is why we're not having another home birth.

Onto the name…I know you've all been waiting on baited breath. Oh wait, that was just me! Well, we've decided on (Drum Roll Please):
Adalee Jayne! I really love the name and we were able to get both of our sister's middle names worked into her name! I hope Adalee likes her name! Now I need to get started on making her name art to hang up in their room!

I go back for another check up in 2 weeks - although Jury Duty is making us schedule the appointment sooner than that. I know the check up's are important for catching anything we might not be aware of outside of what a clinic and nurses/doctors can provide…I just miss the Midwife coming to me at home!

So, all in all, everything looks great so far! Adalee has a name! I'm anxious to meet this little Lady but thankful we're still chugging along!

Why we're not having another Home Birth

Our first two children were both born in Hospitals. Cobi was delivered with a Midwife after an induced labor due to pregnancy induced hypertension.

Micah was caught, barely, by an OB after a totally natural labor although also clouded by the hypertension.

Both births were "healthy" and there were no complications. I just don't like hospitals. I hate how germy they make me feel. I hate the bright light and the beeping machines. I hate being woken up every few hours to check "vitals". I hate that their protocol takes over my natural Mama instants. I hated having to fight them off of vaccines and eye goop, blood draws and ivy's.

I hate how cold and scared he looks here. He should have been in my or his Daddy's arms!

I just wanted a natural, how God created birth to be, type of labor and delivery.

With my third child I just knew I wanted to deliver her at Home. I love the idea of not having to leave the house to deliver. I love that we're surrounded by our creature comforts, our germs, and our children and whomever else we wanted, or didn't want, present! I loved the one-on-one care I received from my Midwife! She was fantastic and so knowledgeable! She came to my home for every prenatal visit. She was truly a God-send!

This third pregnancy also presented with hypertension but we believe it's just how my body responds to end of pregnancy and it wasn't a concern. The day I went into labor I was a little concerned because my daughter had been breech for the weeks and days leading up the labor. I did everything in my power to get her to turn and just prayed that she was head down! Labor was extremely sporadic and intense from the get-go. I was nervous we would end up having to transfer to a hospital because my contractions were so different from my two previous deliveries.

My Midwife suggested I get into the birthing pool to see if that would bring the contractions into a better pattern and get me in the right mindset to actually birth this little lady! Well, it worked! Contractions became regular, although still insanely intense. My Midwife knew, although I had no idea and she didn't tell me so as to protect my birthing mind, that baby girl was posterior. That simply means she was not in an ideal position to be born BUT she was head down and would come out just fine, albeit more painfully.

After 2 hours of labor and 14 minutes of pushing our little girl was finally here.

Unfortunately I had some hemorrhaging. My Midwife swooped in with her magic concoctions and quickly resolved the bleed. I ended up passing out after getting up and was instructed to stay literally on my back for two days to rest and recuperate. I did and healed up just fine. My Midwife came back for her checks postpartum and was just amazing with my Daughter and I. I loved the home birth experience and it felt so right!

On rolls the next pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage with substantial hemorrhaging and an emergency D&C. We found out shortly after the surgery that we were already expecting another child. We were elated but then had to decide whether to birth this baby at home again or in a hospital.

So we began praying and feeling out which was a better option.

We listed out our pro's vs. con's and have decided that this baby, our last and final birth, will be caught in the hospital.

We're not in a place financially to afford another home birth.

However, our deciding factors were based on that still, small voice. We really feel led to deliver in a hospital. We feel safest being in the hands of a wonderful OB who has quick access to anything necessary to prevent hemorrhage or to preform a cesarean if necessary. We know we're insane for going from home birth back to hospital birth but we are trusting the Lord and his direction for this birth. We are obviously praying and believing we'll be able to have another natural and healthy delivery but don't want to be foolish when we feel led to deliver in a certain place.

I believe that birth should take place wherever the Mama and Daddy feel most comfortable whether that be in the hospital, birth center, home, etc. It's about giving women educated choices and supporting them! Our educated and supported decision is to birth this baby in the hospital and we're at peace with that.

We are a bit saddened at the loss of our home base advantage but knowing what we know after having three previous births, we're confident we will get the birth we're desiring, however it comes to play out!